7 Thoughts on Not Using Instagram
I have barely used instagram for the past month or so, and it's been great
About a month ago I read a book called Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport, who is one of the foremost thinkers in the “why are we letting technology control us, it doesn’t have to be this way” space. For me, the entirety of the book functioned as a major confirmation bias the way nightly Fox News or CNN is for men in their 60s. I was basically reading the book and nodding fervently, yelling aloud about how the other side doesn’t get it, and how the future of the country is at stake if the enemy wins.
OK, I’m exaggerating a little. But only a little.
Digital Minimalism is easily one of the better books I’ve read in the past several years, and exponentially more actionable than the vast, vast majority of things you’ll find on a bookshelf. One of the things Newport discusses at length is what he calls “Digital Decluttering,” which is the practice of taking a monthlong break from “optional” technologies to reset your digital life—essentially, he’s suggesting you not use anything you don’t need to use for work, or for some other extremely important reason. The time away allows you to reset your relationship with that technology, allowing you to determine whether or not it aligns with your values, and passes what he calls the “minimalist screening process.”
While I did not participate in a full digital detox, one thing I did do was decide to limit my instagram usage to one check per day. As you can see below, Zuck Everlasting must not be happy with me, as my average time on the app over the past month has dropped precipitously. The picture below shows my usage over the past week:
^The outlier here, Thursday, was when I spent a grand total of 2 minutes on the app.
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Overall, this instagram “detox” has been a great learning experience, and I thought I’d share some notes and observations:
1. I feel a lot more in control
Prior to this month, there’d be weeks where I was really “good,” and weeks where I’ve lost hours and hours to mindless scrolling Like most people, I’ve used my smartphone, and specifically instagram, as a crutch. If there is ever dead time or an uncomfortable social situation, I’d just take out the phone and scroll.
By checking only once a day, that addiction-type urge has definitely lessened; and it’s help to reduce my phone-checking compulsion in general.
I don’t feel that out-of-control mind-racing that tends to happen to me when spending too much time taking in too much information. I feel in control of my time and what I choose to focus on.
2. After the first two things in my timeline, what instagram serves me up is mostly nonsense
My new rule for checking instagram is:
See if I have any notifications or DMS
I barely have had any. This is likely a function of (a. barely engaging with the app (b. not being cool
Scroll through my timeline
Stop at the first post that I deem “mostly nonsense”—something that I wouldn’t really consider notable in any way
Since doing this, I’ve noticed that the first 1-2 posts that come up are mostly restricted to the major developments in people’s lives that I’m following—engagements and marriages, babies, a major move, someone just bought a house—classic people in their 30s stuff.
For the most part, these are things that are nice to know, and the person posting of course wants to share their accomplishment with their world in a positive way. I usually “like” these posts.
But by the third thing, I start to notice that my feed has run out of “important” things for the day and move onto the algorithms’ bread and butter, part of which is:
3. The Reality Shows of Acquaintances
The day I’m writing this, the third post on my feed was from someone who, I realized, used to be a mainstay in my instagram diet.
He’s a comedian, but an acquaintance—someone I haven’t seen in person or talked to since before covid. He posts frequently, and over the past several years I’ve followed his exploits—podcast clips, accomplishments, thoughts on sandwiches. For whatever reason my algorithm always recommends his posts and videos, so I’ve seen quite a lot of him. He’s entertaining and works hard, and I genuinely hope that he succeeds.
But as I began watching his video today, I realized that keeping up with the ongoing reality show of this acquaintance has almost no positive tangible impact on my life; I like the guy, but he’s not someone I’ve deemed important enough to have any sort of relationship with. Over this past month I’ve realized my “relationships” on instagram are mostly this type, and that they add little to no value to my life.
Reality shows have their place, but at this point I prefer watching Top Chef with my wife.
4. I don’t think any of the relationships that matter to me have suffered at all by not being on Instagram
In fact, they’ve probably improved, because even at this point, even a text message feels more personal than commenting on a public forum about something.
I think not seeing what people are up to every day has made me think more about the people I’m interested in communicating with on a regular or semi-regular basis, allowing me to spend more time on the relationships that matter to me—and less on the ones that don’t.
5. Thoughts on Dunbar’s Number
In the 1990s British anthropologist Robin Dunbar theorized that humans can really only meaningfully sustain about 150 relationships at a time. I follow 700-something people on instagram (I think…I already checked the app today). Some are celebrities and “influencers,” but I’d say 500+ of those that I follow are people who, at some point in my life, had been in that 150 circle.
A few days ago, someone I follow posted that they bought an apartment, with some pictures of him and his wife doing some renovations. Nice news. But I realized that this couple, who at one point were people I saw relatively frequently and had a relationship with, I no longer do at all, and have not for several years.
There are many people who I follow on instagram that fall into this category. I could of course unfollow people, but that seems (a. a bit callous and (b. requires a fair amount of time to regularly maintain and consider who should get the ax.
People much smarter and more versed than me in this have gone into more detail of what I’m about to say, but: I think there is great truth in Dunbar’s number, and seeing a highly curated version of what people are up to who are not in our current 150 is up to is not necessary, natural, and probably unhealthy. Yet, expanding to well over Dunbar’s number is the general premise of many social media apps.
6. I’m becoming more intentional about finding content of value in other ways
This is about influencers and personalities. I’ve used instagram as a way to keep me updated about the comedy industry, sports, and increasingly, cooking, real estate, home improvement, personal finance, and investing (Again, I am in my 30s).
While I’ve tried to make my feed more educational and improvement-oriented than it was in the past (one person I follow talks about how you need to surround yourself with people online who will make you better, which is an interesting way to look at how to leverage social media addiction to your benefit), I think the algorithm is ultimately never going to be your friend as long as its primary aim to get you to keep staying online.
If you find value in what an influencer-type posts on instagram, there is a strong likelihood there is a more nutritious version of their content in a podcast, email newsletter, or YouTube. Just because instagram is one way, or maybe even the easiest way to get certain content doesn’t mean it’s the best way.
7. I’m not sure how sustainable this is professionally
A great irony of this post is that I will post it on my instagram stories in an attempt to reach more people.
As I heard an older woman say the other day “everyone’s on the instagram, tiktoks, the whatevers. You gotta be on them!”
She speaks the truth. For example, by choosing to not be super active and shareable on social media, I have definitely not given my standup comedy career the best possible chance to succeed. If this was my only goal in life, then I would be extremely active on social media. But as I get older, I realize my primary goal is to live an intentional life that allows me to improve as a person every day, primarily to be the best possible husband, (hopefully!) father, family member, friend, professional, co-worker, and stranger.
I’ve determined that not being super active on social media gives me a much greater ability to be this person. If an aspect of my life suffers in the service of a larger goal, I’m not only OK with that, but incredibly satisfied at my ability to be able to make that choice.
Yet at the same time, using social media apps as both a resume and networking tool is one of, if not the primary way to build the connections that could lead to the opportunities I aspire to, which in an indirect way, could lead to becoming the person I aspire to.
Re: the above, I wonder if my current mindset will be sustainable as I try to be a successful professional. And honestly, I am not sure. After all, you gotta be on the instagrams, the tiktoks, and whatevers.
Though at least if I’m not on them regularly, I know I’ll be in the right headspace to think about the most effective solutions.
THE END
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